Life Updates

This Week in Photos | Week 3

This past week we were still on the mend from our cold, even today it is not totally gone, it’s the cold that won’t quit! But, we were feeling loads better than the week before so we got outside to play a lot.
This week I started adjusting our schedule to accommodate Griffin not napping anymore. I’ve planned out our days more now so that I am prepared with more activities and things to do, either quiet time or play time. I’ve found this has helped me to adjust to not having a couple hours to myself. When it’s quiet time he’ll either play by himself in his room for awhile or I’ll put a show on for him while he lays down on the couch, it is good for him to be alone and for me to get some work done or relax as well.
The bonus to him not napping is bed time is a breeze now, he his so tired by the end of the day that when his head hits the pillow he is out!

Griffin and Titi playing in the snow.
The snowman Griffin and I made together…and by together I mean I built it because all he wanted to do was put the carrot nose in.
But it was worth it because it made him super happy.
This bump is getting big! Officially half way!
Sunday morning waffles!
Needed to get back to smoothies this week after being sick and not wanting much more than soup for a week.
I have a shelf for my mugs now ;)!
Ripley loves winter!
Robe snuggles.
Griffin doing the dishes.


Life Updates

Pregnancy Update | Halfway!

We’ve made it, the halfway mark. Already the first part of this pregnancy is over. I’d like to say that I spent this first half soaking it all in and enjoy each and every day, I certainly have tried but fear and anxiety have definitely been a part of my every day life for the last 20 weeks.

Each day I worried it would be the last with this baby so each day I tried to embrace the blessing that was given to me and each new day that came I was grateful but also scared it would be the last.
I never thought these things while I was pregnant with Griffin, I don’t even remember thinking about miscarriage once. Now, with losing Lucy and miscarrying in the pregnancy after her, it was a constant on my mind this time.
Every week I hit I would celebrate but the big milestone was getting past 20 weeks. Not just because the risk of miscarriage decreases greatly after that point but because at 20 weeks is when we found out about Lucy’s condition.

The day of our ultrasound I had a lot of anxiety, as I laid there on the bed and the technician did her thing I just kept thinking horrible words associated with Lucy’s condition: echogenic lungs, hydrops, ascities, enlarged trachea….
I knew that if something was wrong the technician wouldn’t be able to tell me, but when she turned the screen towards me and I saw our little one I knew that just from looking at the screen it didn’t look like Lucy’s did. I know I’m not a professional but having seen Lucy on the ultrasound screen a hundred times and what a normal baby should look like, this baby looked good.
I had to wait 4 more days to call my doctor to verify that everything was OK and when I heard those words I relaxed. For the first time in 20 weeks I let go of my fear, my fear that it would all be the same, that we’d relive that nightmare all over again. And then the realization set in that this baby may actually get to come home with us, will meet their big brother, will sleep on Daddy’s chest while he relaxes after work, will make our family complete.
I know we have 20 more weeks (or if it plays out like Griffin’s pregnancy 14 more weeks…) and in that time anything can happen, but with each day more that I get I feel more connected to this baby, to my body and to this life than I ever have before.

Life Updates

This Week in Photos | Week 2

A little behind this week for posting this but I am on the tail end of a wicked cold that Griffin and I both brought back with us from our trip to Great Wolf Lodge. At least I am assuming that’s where we got it from since it’s a giant building full of kids all signs point to a lot of germs in one building.
We had a great time on the trip, although Griffin has never been in a pool before (just the lake) so it took some effort to get him in each time once he was in he had a blast. We brought Griffin’s friend Noah with us, surprisingly it wasn’t that much extra work to have another one along, if anything it made it a little easier as they just played together the whole time!
Basically this weeks photos are of the trip and a little afterwards but once I got sick I was in no mood for photo taking or much of anything. So happy to be feeling (almost) normal again!

Great Wolf Lodge
Silly boys
They loved the slides!
More sleep please….
First time bowling
Griffin b-lined for the snow machine game
The kids beds were in there own “tent”!
Ice cream dessert
Story time
What we’ve been having for breakfast lately
Totally obsessed with yogurt and granola this pregnancy
Right before I got sick and ate soup for 4 days…
Sick snuggles
Life Updates

19 weeks

Hello in there sweet little one,

I saw you today. I saw your heart beating and your thumb in your mouth. I saw your arms and legs. One moment it looked like you were sitting cross-legged the next you were bouncing around. It was everything I had hoped to see today, it was pure joy.

I was so anxious this morning about this appointment, it’s hard not to be after everything we went through with your sister. But with every moment I got with you today on that screen everything melted away. I don’t know for sure that everything is OK, we won’t know until next week but what I do know is that you are in there and you are alive. I know your heart is beating and in this moment that is all that matters.
If something comes back from the report there is nothing I can do to change the outcome of it, for now I will sit and feel you kicking and bouncing around inside me because in this moment that is all that matters.

I have been trying to remind myself throughout the last 4 months is to give thanks for each day that I get with you because I didn’t appreciate it enough the last time. It was all over too quickly last time and I told myself if I ever had the chance to be pregnant again I wouldn’t take a day for granted. There are times when I find myself complaining and remind myself that it is normal but I always try to bring myself back to gratitude.

I am thankful for you.
For your heartbeat.
For you little kicks.
For blessing me with being your mother.
For being able to carry another baby
For one more day closer to meeting you.
I am thankful for all of my blessings.
I am thankful for all of my hardships.
Because it all brought me here to this moment.
And this moment is all that matters.