A year with you.
A lifetime dreaming of you.
You are my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
A year already, how can that be? Part of me feels like it has flown by but another part of me has tried so hard to soak in each day (even the exhausting ones) because I know, from watching Griffin’s first year fly by, how quickly it all changes.
Tiny little baby to busy little boy in a beat of my heart.
There was something extra special about you dear Ellis, I had been waiting to hold you for so long. I woke up grateful each morning that I was still pregnant and you were still with us. I imagined what you may look, smell, sound like. I imagined your tiny hands wrapping around my finger, your eyes staring into mine and you finding comfort in my arms.
I hoped and hoped and hoped.
I hoped each day for another one and then at 37 weeks I told you how good you did holding on for so long and that you could come out whenever you were ready to meet us.
You were ready.
That night you came in less than 4 hours, from water breaking to the final push, you were here and my world was complete.
365 days of learning about love (insurmountable love), patience (so much freaking patience), compassion (for a brokenhearted, hard-to-adjust-to-change brother), acceptance (of what I can and cannot control) and letting go (give in to the chaos, the joy, the pain, the wonder that is childhood).
In only 365 days you and your brother have taught me so much. I am becoming a better person because of you, for you.
Before you I thought I knew the greatest feeling of love, when I looked into your brother’s eyes when he was born I fell so, so hard. I wasn’t sure how my heart could love any greater than that. What do I know? The heart is capable of loving more than our minds can even imagine. The two of you have given me a heart so full of love, what a gift to be given. I am forever grateful.
Thank you for being here Ellis. For your beautiful soul. For your boundless energy, infectious smile and your sweet nature.
Here’s to another 365 days. Another trip around the sun. I cannot wait to see the little boy you will grow into this coming year.
Happy Birthday sweetheart. I love you.